Surviving Pirates

While I work on just how I'm supposed to write 600+ words on how uninteresting Friday the 13th (2009) is, check out John Kenneth Muir's own review which accurately sums up everything I'm thinking about the movie.

Anyway. For her birthday, I bought my girlfriend the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy on Blu-ray. As she sees it, this was a huge sacrifice on my part, because I've expressed a negative opinion on the movies consistently and, between the two of us, I own the only Blu-ray player. So she's decided that today, she will work through all three, all the while trying to convince me that these are the great escapist adventure films of the 21st Century.

Now, I don't hate the Pirates flicks, despite my frequent protests. I'm just surrounded by Jack Sparrow fangirls all the time. My girlfriend is one. My last roommate is one. Most of my female friends are. You begin to get defensive when they want to watch the movies for the billionth time, because there are so many other films, better films that could be watched.

But properly, I find the original to be amusing but overlong by a half-hour, all of which is in the middle act. As for the other two, well... there's probably one good movie between the two of them and I may take it upon myself as an intellectual exercise to stitch together such a film at some point.

My full review of all three remains "Johnny Depp in eyeliner."