Beggars' Night

In Des Moines, Iowa, where I was born and spent the first nine years of my life, kids went trick 'r' treating on October 30th, called "Beggars' Night." We put on our costumes, went out, yelled "Trick'r'Treat!" and sometimes we really would have to "Trick" with a joke or a fun fact in order to get the treat.

Tonight my nostrils fill with the smell of wet leaves, my feet balk at the arduous journey through freezing wind. My hands grasp flimsy plastic handles on cheap jack o'lantern candy baskets, occasionally running fingers over the ragged plastic protruding from lazy joins. I can feel a cut lip that healed over twenty years ago and a stiff cowboy hat that made my scalp sweat despite the cold. I can see dozens of colorful wrappers surrounding a multitude of candies. Some kinds would go too fast and others would linger for months; I knew exactly which was which and so did my father.

Today I live in Arizona, and even though the October winds are blowing cold, they won't bite as bitterly. The air smells of dust and I won't be going out asking for candy. I didn't think to wear anything for the office costume contest. I celebrate Beggars' Night and Halloween by watching horror movies, the kind that the trick 'r' treater from long ago would have run from in terror. My traditions have changed. I am not the same.

Yet every October 30th, some part of me becomes that little boy again, with the sweaty cowboy hat and the plastic pumpkin filled with candy. And I am happy.

Ten Completely Underrated Woody Allen Movies

B-Sol of the insanely excellent blog The Vault of Horror takes the floor here at Cinema-Geek for a look at ten frequently overlooked films from one of his (and my) favorite directors.

Woody Allen has one extremely huge body of work. The guy basically makes a movie every year, and he’s been doing it for about 30 years. So you do the math.

Unfortunately, the downside of making movies that often is that not every one is going to be an unquestioned classic. Furthermore, every now and then, one will inevitably slip through the cracks.

Folks, I’m an unabashed Woody lover. I enjoy anything the guy does, from absolutely perfect films like Annie Hall and Manhattan, to relatively missable stuff like Alice, and Anything Else. I’d go so far as to call him the second finest working director, after Martin Scorsese.

So instead of listing the obvious Woody Allen treasures that everyone agrees are great—Hannah & Her Sisters, Sleeper, Crimes & Misdemeanors, etc.—I thought it would be more interesting to shed a little light on some unfairly underrated Woody Allen movies. If you love his stuff and haven’t seen these, give them a chance…

Bananas (1971)
Allen’s second film, this is a completely side-splitting comedy from his “early, funny” era. However, wedged between other gems like Take the Money and Run and Sleeper, it often gets lost in the shuffle. Woody as a Castro-esque Central American dictator is beyond priceless. And keep an eye out for the cameo from a young, unknown Sylvester Stallone.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex (1972)
Another of the lesser-appreciated ‘70s Allen screwball comedies. A series of madcap vignettes dealing with human sexuality that literally leaves me breathless with laughter. John Carradine appears as a mad scientist who creates a monstrous female breast; a great oral sex joke is acted out; plus, the world’s worst transvestite. Comedy gold.

Love and Death (1975)
Only Woody Allen would be genius enough—and ballsy enough—to cross Dostoyevsky with the Marx Brothers. And have it actually work. This is the last film in Allen’s “silly phase”, right before Annie Hall. Plus, it teams up Allen and Diane Keaton, so you really can’t go wrong.

Stardust Memories (1980)
A bold film in which Allen basically plays himself, a movie director facing doubt about his own work, plus criticism for evolving as an artist. Very funny, as well as dramatic, plus one of the most memorable usages of a Louis Armstrong song in a movie, ever. Lovingly shot by longtime Allen collaborator and Godfather II cinematographer Gordon Willis.

A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy (1982)
Woody actually steps away from his comfortable urban setting with this gentle romantic comedy set in the early 1900s, in the countryside. Woody plays an eccentric inventor--plus we’ve got ‘80s Allen muse Mia Farrow, the legendary Jose Ferrer, a young Mary Steenburgen, Airplane’s Julie Hagerty, and of course, Tony Roberts. Plus, Allen puts together a soundtrack made up entirely of beautiful 19th century Romantic compositions.

Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
Astonishingly panned when it came out, this one is now rightfully recognized as an underrated treat. Woody plays a cheeseball talent agent, and Mia Farrow steals the show as his ditzy love interest. Best of all, the whole thing is framed as the recollections of a bunch of old school comedians having lunch at Katz’ Delicatessen in Manhattan…


Shadows and Fog (1990)
A bizarre little film that once again demonstrates Allen’s brilliant knack for synthesizing multiple themes and devices. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Woody were set loose inside a Kafka novel, then this is the movie for you. Quite serious and even chilling at times, Allen still manages to bring the comedy in the right places, mainly due to how hilariously out of place he is.

Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
I’ve always felt this movie was grossly misunderstood. Like myself, Allen is a huge admirer of the classic Fred Astaire-style musical comedies of the 1930s—and with this film, he answers the cinematic question, what if one of those films were set in the present day? Contains a number of delightful old-time pop standards, all performed legitimately by members of the cast not typically known for singing (including Tim Roth!).



Deconstructing Harry (1997)
For my money, this is Allen’s finest film of the 1990s, yet for the most part it went unrecognized. It was marketed around the gimmick of Woody going to Hell a la Dante, and although that’s the funniest part, there’s a whole lot more to it. But the sight of Woody Allen stumbling through the Inferno to the tune of Benny Goodman’s “Sing, Sing, Sing” is truly something else…

Small Time Crooks (2000)
Right before deciding to start casting younger actors in all the roles he used to take himself, Woody teams up with Tracy Ullman in this almost-forgotten comic delight. Best of all, Woody plays a smart-talking working class stiff, a real change of pace from his stereotypical neurotic New Yorker shtick.


Thanks again to B-Sol for this great list. Be sure to swing by The Vault of Horror for his musings on the horror genre.

Moving Movies

Not movies that move you, but movies to watch while you're in the middle of a move, or more specifically, when you're in the middle of packing. It's not as arbitrary or as simple as you'd think. DVDs are amongst the first things I pack, simply because they're easy to get into boxes and by packing them together, I reduce risk of damaging the cases. I also have more of them than pretty much anything, including clothes and books.

So, during my last move, it became a question of which films to leave on the shelf. I have pretty specific criteria when it comes to this situation. Since I would likely be packing as I watched, the films in question had to be familiar, so I didn't get distracted or miss key plot points because I was seeking out the elusive end of the tape roll. While not necessary, it helped if a movie didn't have a particularly complex plot or if it hung on an episodic structure, so that I would feel more comfortable popping in and out. Some of the movies had to be talky or heavy on music so that I could enjoy them while I wasn't able to see the television.

Below is the list of some of my selections. If they occasionally seem to contradict my criteria, well... that's that, I guess. Films I actually watched during the move are marked with an asterisk.

His Girl Friday / Bringing Up Baby
The brilliant thing about a good Howard Hawks comedy is that you can miss half the dialogue and still get double what other films typically have.

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring*
This would be even more perfect if I didn't have to switch discs halfway through, but we cannot have everything. I also made a point to watch all the easter eggs on all of the trilogy discs.

Zombie Apocalypse*
"I could kill you now, but I'm determined to have your brain!" I probably like this movie more than it has any right to be liked, as it's a pretty threadbare merging of the zombie and cannibal subgenres, both of which were en vogue in Italy at the time this was made.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog* / Firefly: The Complete Series* / Serenity*
Technically, my girlfriend watched Firefly on my Mac and I hovered during packing breaks. And I didn't so much watch Dr. Horrible as I did listen to MP3s of Commentary! The Musical, a fairly ingenious creation of Whedon and Company where they perform an entire plotted musical as a commentary track (and which, incidentally, has more songs than Dr. Horrible itself).

Stop Making Sense*
I watched this four times while packing. Can you blame me? The way this concert moves, the way it progresses -- it fills me with joy. Somehow they take something intricately choreographed and planned (nay, plotted) and make it seem so spontaneous. One of my favorite moments happens during a song transition, although I forget which one. David Byrne, who's sweating profusely, starts a meandering jog around the microphone as he loosens his collar. Except he's not meandering. He's circling. It takes a little time for that fact to kick in, but this is not a random "shake off the tired" motion, but a planned move. Each revolution becomes tighter and clearer, picking up the beat of the next song as it goes. It's at that moment when it becomes clear that this isn't just a well-planned concert. It's a work of genius and we're all lucky that Jonathan Demme was on hand to capture it for posterity.

Singin' in the Rain / The Muppet Movie / The Court Jester*
Joy on a digital platter. Like a warm, musical, dorky blanket.

5 Dolls for an August Moon
Mario Bava's variation on Ten Little Indians was a project he didn't want to direct and didn't really care for. From my Classic-Horror.com review: The resulting film is a whodunit that doesn’t care who did it, a thriller lacking in actual thrills. It is also a strangely affecting experience that improves upon repeated viewings. By de-emphasizing all that we would expect emphasized in a thriller, especially since the status quo for a good director with a bad script is for style to run amok over substance, Bava forces us to consider the film almost as free jazz, randomly weaving in and out of a set template and letting the audience find their own points of interest. If you just relax, go with the flow, disregard silly things like plot, and soak up the masterful cinematography by Bava and long-time DP Antonio Rinaldi, you’ll find a lot worth revisiting.

North by Northwest
I know the rhythms of this movie like I know the beats of my favorite songs. The pinnacle of Hitchcock's action-thrillers.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail*
"Ni!"

Josie and the Pussycats*
I love this movie so much. Sure it's glossy and bubble-gum, but it's also kinda subversive. Massively underseen upon its release (probably because of an extremely misleading advertising campaign), this deserves to be rediscovered. It has rock'n'roll, broad satire, and more plot than you'd expect from a movie based on an Archie comic. Earlier this year, I made a fanvid for this movie, which I've embedded below:



Ocean's Eleven (2001)
I love listening to the actor's commentary on this, because Brad Pitt's sardonic wit runs rampant. He says early on that he's doing it as sort of a "Mystery Science Theater 3000" thing and while he's never tears the film apart, his general sense of humor is in the same vein. Matt Damon is on hand for more serious recollections of the production and Andy Garcia occasionally chimes in to remind us that he's there.

A Pavlovian Response at Midnight

Tuesday night: I'm sitting on my laptop, working on my review for Al Adamson's Dracula vs. Frankenstein, when a familiar chirp emanated from my pants -- a new text message. LC, a friend who I hadn't seen in months, wanted to know whether I wanted to see the new Harry Potter film at a midnight screening. Well, actually, she didn't want to know whether I wanted to specifically -- it was a mass message, sent to many people.

Despite the fact that I had work the next day, that Harry Potter movies run about two and a half hours each, that I didn't have any actual interest in seeing the film, I immediately texted back, "Yes, if I can get a ride" (I don't own a car, for reasons that I explain are environmental but are mostly to do with not caring very much). Arrangements were made and within an hour, I was sitting shotgun in LC's car, on my way to extremely reduced sleep.

Why did I do this? Why do I do this every time someone asks the magic question, "Midnight screening?" Sure, there are perks. I get to see the movie before anybody. I get to join in with other movie fans who are also willing to sacrifice their beloved REM for the same bragging rights. I'm guaranteed a full house of fans, which adds very much to the overall cinema-going experience when the movie is very good indeed.

At the same time, you have to arrive at the theater hours in advance to ensure a decent seat (although with the advent of online ticketing, that's the only reason to show early). You have to sit in line with very little in the way of entertainment (an irony, of course, given that you're inside a multiplex, an institution dedicated to the art of entertainment). If you're like me and do a lot of work online in the evenings, your productivity takes a major hit, even if you do bring along your laptop.

And oh, heaven help you if the movie isn't R-rated. We were finally let into the theater an hour before the movie was due to begin and found ourselves beset at all sides by teenyboppers. Yelling, gabbing, jostling, immature teenyboppers. One rather annoying kid of no more than thirteen spent a good portion of the hour antagonizing/flirting with some older girls in my row -- and doing it rather badly. Eventually faux-banished from sitting next to them, he plopped down next to me and decided that he was fascinated with the game of Zuma I had running on my laptop. I resisted the urge to tell him to butt out, but only because I deduced from his other interactions that it would only encourage him.

Eventually the trailers began (the theater descended into a war of "Yays" and "Boos" when the New Moon preview played) and then the movie. I'm sorry to say that, while I enjoyed it, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was not worth the loss of sleep that I am still feeling two days later. I had a feeling that vast swaths of necessary plot were either compacted or ignored. For instance, the central mystery implied in the title is brought up twice in the course of the film and then dismissed at the end without any context as to why it was really that important in the first place. A little research into the book (which I haven't read) confirmed that there was a lot more to the "Half-Blood Prince" moniker than the film revealed. Additionally, a rather menacing dark wizard shows up with only a name, Fenrir Greyback, and an uncouth look about him. Again, the Internet told me that, apparently, he's a werewolf and a nasty one at that.

Director David Yates and screenwriter Steve Kloves decided to follow the awkward teenage development of Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and his friends for the most part, which I do not fault them for because their handling of it is rather brilliant. Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) gets an overbearing girlfriend who loves making out and Harry begins to see Ginny Weasley (Bonnie Wright) in a new, sexy light. Both boys experiment with drugs in a PG-rating-friendly way. Ron eats some cookies laced with a love potion (read: pot brownies) and Harry has to drag him to Professor Horace Slughorn (the always delightful Jim Broadbent) to bring him down. Later, Harry has his own altered experience thanks to a Luck Potion. I have to say, Radcliffe is brilliant in this sequence, with a real sense of comedic delivery. He's has always had the unenviable task of playing the David Copperfield of the Potter series -- the wide-eyed everyman who must be stoic and decent in the face of mounting adversity. It's not an easy part, because you're always going to come off as slightly more dull than the wacky characters around you, so it's a pleasure to see Radcliffe get a chance to be the funny one.

Still, this is the penultimate chapter in a seven-part epic (well, if you discount the fact that they're splitting Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into two parts) and, from conversations with friends after the movie, Yates and Kloves have put themselves into a difficult position by not introducing certain key elements in this film that will pay off in Deathly Hallows. One wonders if they'll simply work around the omissions or if they'll do as Peter Jackson did with the Lord of the Rings trilogy and shift parts of the story around.

If there's a major problem with Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince as a film (and not, say, as an adaptation), it's the same one that plagued the last two movies as well. The writing clearly means for Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) and Ron to end up together, but the chemistry on-screen between Watson and Radcliffe makes that very difficult to accept. The two simply spark. There's something warm, inviting -- something homey about their interactions, like Harry and Hermione just belong together, plotting how to save the world and each other. It's utterly distracting because it flies in the face of everything the script would have us believe. As a director, Yates should have recognized this problem and reduced the screentime that Watson and Radcliffe share in the editing booth, but I can understand why he wouldn't. Those moments between the two are some of the most touching and heartfelt in the movie and sometimes killing your darlings is too painful.

Surviving Pirates

While I work on just how I'm supposed to write 600+ words on how uninteresting Friday the 13th (2009) is, check out John Kenneth Muir's own review which accurately sums up everything I'm thinking about the movie.

Anyway. For her birthday, I bought my girlfriend the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy on Blu-ray. As she sees it, this was a huge sacrifice on my part, because I've expressed a negative opinion on the movies consistently and, between the two of us, I own the only Blu-ray player. So she's decided that today, she will work through all three, all the while trying to convince me that these are the great escapist adventure films of the 21st Century.

Now, I don't hate the Pirates flicks, despite my frequent protests. I'm just surrounded by Jack Sparrow fangirls all the time. My girlfriend is one. My last roommate is one. Most of my female friends are. You begin to get defensive when they want to watch the movies for the billionth time, because there are so many other films, better films that could be watched.

But properly, I find the original to be amusing but overlong by a half-hour, all of which is in the middle act. As for the other two, well... there's probably one good movie between the two of them and I may take it upon myself as an intellectual exercise to stitch together such a film at some point.

My full review of all three remains "Johnny Depp in eyeliner."

Notes from the Abyss

Yeeeeah, I've been lousy about this blog concept. I do have bullet points, though!

• I finally have a solid book concept and a title to go with it. I don't want to get into more details until I have an outline and a few chapters hammered out, but I'm extremely excited about where this is going. Right now I'm looking at how I can reorganize the editorial structure at Classic-Horror.com so that I can take a six-month sorta-sabbatical to write the damned thing.
  
• I've seen Star Trek three times now and I'm going for a fourth tonight. In part, it's because my brain is just geeking out about all the little intricacies of J.J. Abrams' brave new Trek universe, but mostly it's because I have a couple of friends who geek out even harder -- physically flailing with joy -- while they watch. It's one of those things that makes being a film fan so rewarding.
• My girlfriend and I have been working through the entire run of Supernatural -- we're two-thirds of the way through Season 4 right now -- and it's amusing as hell. She absolutely adores the brotherly interactions of the Winchester boys and the overall story arc, but she's very easily grossed out by gore and horrible death -- two things that SPN has in surprising abundance for a network television series. Sometimes she'll make me rewatch an episode in the same night just so she can relive some of the banter between Sam and Dean. Other times I'll have to shield her from monsters opening a maw of disgusting fangs or a particularly expressive arterial spray.
• The new Friday the 13th is a rather listless exercise in brutality, one that actually makes me pine for the days when Jason Voorhees was more into the quick, creative, over-the-top kill. I never wanted to use the verb "pine" and the name "Jason Voorhees" in the same sentence, but here we are. I was actually describing Jason Lives in faintly glowing terms to my mother because the new version put me off so much. Look for a review over at Classic-Horror in the next week.
• I cannot stop watching the last four minutes of the Glee pilot. It's like crack on iTunes.
• I'm working on a new horror-themed fanvid, this time related to the Hammer era. I'll probably post it online sometime in late August.
• I still haven't seen Drag Me to Hell and it's killing me a little inside.

Finally, Classic-Horror.com's Tenth Birthday celebration begins on Monday, June 15th with a brand-new design, some new site features, and more!

VHS Tapes Have I Known: The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977)

Although my movie collection is overwhelmingly DVD, I keep a few VHS tapes around. I'll be devoting some space to them sporadically.

The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977)
Director: Marty Feldman
Starring: Michael York, Marty Feldman, Ann-Margret

I could spend hours discussing this highly underrated comedy, which begins with Marty Feldman destroying a 1940s-era Universal logo and maintains the same level of zaniness from there. This is the first of Feldman's two outings as a director (the second being In God We Tru$t) and if he doesn't have the surest hand in controlling his material, there's a certain delight in the fact that the whole affair is so uncontrolled. Feldman's approach is clearly inspired by Mel Brooks, particularly Young Frankenstein. Like that film, it's a loving parody of a particular kind of classic movie, in this case the old Foreign Legion chestnut Beau Geste (in one scene, Marty Feldman has an argument with footage of Gary Cooper from the 1939 version).

To protect the family's prized Blue Water Sapphire from his scheming (and unreasonably attractive) stepmother (Ann-Margret), Beau Geste (Michael York) absconds with the jewel and joins the Foreign Legion in Africa. Digby Geste (Feldman) soon follows, and together they attempt to survive an insane commander (Peter Ustinov) and attacks by the Arabs (lead by the genial and cheese-tastic James Earl Jones).

Much of the humor derives from the relationship between Digby and Beau, who we are told are identical twins (although Digby notes, "Somehow Beau was much more identical than me. "). Beau is apparently too handsome, courageous, and wonderful to feel pain, so Digby feels it for him (which leads to all the expected jokes). Digby is unreasonably devoted to Beau and Beau is... well, reasonably devoted to Digby. Beau's more interested in honor, adventure, and being buried at sea (even in the middle of the stinking desert).

Feldman's approach to humor is very much of the "throw it at the wall and see what sticks" variety and, admittedly, many of the jokes seem to be coated in teflon. Feldman's desperate willingness to please, however, maintains a continuity between the groaners and the belly laughs. Once you've become as accustomed to the film as I have, even the dumbest jokes (like the grinning Jack T. Ripper with the severed arm in his medical kit) take on a certain charm. Comic turns from folks like Henry Gibson, Trevor Howard, Terry-Thomas, Roy Kinnear, Ted Cassidy, Burt Kwouk, and Spike Milligan (as the ever-devoted and terribly senile butler, Crumble) keep the movie lively and entertaining throughout.

What's more, you can actually watch the film right now without the benefit of VHS (and in widescreen) thanks to the fine folks at Hulu. Check it out.

Incidentally, there was another version of Beau Geste made after this, in the form of a 1982 miniseries, but Feldman's film is the last cinematic outing of the Geste brothers, so the title still holds.

Movie Cities I Love: Vienna in The Third Man (1949)

After a showing of Wolverine on Saturday (no great shakes -- Hugh Jackman is charismatic as always, but the plot made very little sense), my girlfriend had to run an errand, so she left me at Barnes and Noble to wait. It probably wouldn't have been her first choice, since I have a tendency to tarry excessively in any shop with a DVD section, but there's not much she could do about it. By the time she came to pick me up, I had worked myself into a properly self-righteous froth about the store's ghettoization of the horror genre -- stuck in an out-of-the-way corner next to the bargain discs. Such tyranny would not stand!

Well, okay, it would stand, but I would shove it lightly in hopes that it had a severe inner ear condition.

Anyway, as we walked out, my chagrin turned to joy when I spied the Criterion Collection Blu-ray of The Third Man. Now, ask me what my favorite film of all time is and the answer will vary from day to day, but lately it's been a pretty solid 50/50 split between Carol Reed's mystery-thriller and His Girl Friday (1940).

Of course, I've been on a "DVD diet" lately, curtailing my propensity to add to my gargantuan movie collection. Plus, I already owned the older Criterion disc. There had to be a way around this, of course. "It's okay to buy the Blu-ray of a movie I already own if it's my favorite movie of all time right?" I asked my girlfriend. My girlfriend, in her infinite wisdom, shrugged, knowing full well that if I was set on talking myself into this, I would do it no matter what she said.

Which brings us to the body of this post. I did, in fact, buy the Blu-ray and while it's not as impressive an upgrade as I'd hoped, I still fell in love with post-war Vienna, the real "third man", all over again. The beautiful architecture, the cobblestone streets, the very climbable piles of rubble, the narrow passages just perfect for the manipulation of shadows and light -- all of these make the Vienna of The Third Man one of my favorite movie cities.

Nine years, ten months, and twenty-one days on...

Classic-Horror.com is fast approaching its tenth birthday/anniversary (well, Classic-Horror, anyway -- the domain didn't come into the picture until a year in). It started out as a poorly coded section of an otherwise disposable personal site on Angelfire and has since mutated into the beast it is today.

I have mixed feelings associated with the occasion. Certainly, there's a sense of accomplishment. With the invaluable help of the best writing team a horror film site could want, I feel like the last couple of years have been key in solidifying what Classic-Horror is all about and where we fit in the broad landscape of horror on the Internet. Of course, the site continues to evolve. It always has and it always will, partly because I'm an inveterate tinkerer, partly because any project started at age sixteen will have identity issues built into its foundation, but mostly because that's just how the Internet works. It's part of the fun.

There's a strange melancholy mixed into the reverie, however. Ten years is a long time for anything and for a guy like me whose whims flit about like a pixie on a cocaine binge, it's occasionally rough. I am not the most organized or responsible guy on Earth. I've let down plenty of PR firms who've sent me screeners that I've proceeded to ignore. There's been correspondences I've let slide and interviews that I never transcribed. I feel that I let down Classic-Horror's readers with our entirely inconsistent posting schedule. I always refer to it as "my other job," even though I'm about to remove the ads and thus the (rather meager) revenue stream. I put about forty hours a week into the site, as well as the forty-five to fifty I clock in at my "real job."

Mind you, that's just how I am. My play is work. Always has been. I have tried the relaxing thing, but I wind up starting another project, sometimes before I'm even aware I've done so. Plus, I'm an autocrat by nature; I have the worst time delegating responsibilities (and I'm constantly thinking of new things to add or change or redesign).

Sometimes I wonder what other areas I could be applying these energies to. My cinematic knowledge is ridiculously unbalanced -- there are so many non-horror movies I have yet to see, others that I've seen but have yet to really appreciate. I've written some moderately clever things about some great horror movies in my time, but can I expand to other genres?

Even staying within the genre, there are other avenues I could explore. I'd like to write an article for Video Watchdog or Rue Morgue at some point. I'd love to have a book on horror published by McFarland. Given how often I hover around their booth at San Diego Comic-Con every year, I probably owe them something.

Also, for a variety of reasons that don't bear mentioning, I never finished college. I have just a year and a half on a Bachelor's in Cinema and Comparative Literature from the University of Iowa. I'd like very much to see that through at some point in my life, even if I'm terrified of the notion at the same time.

If you're with me so far, you're probably thinking one of two things right now:

1. "Can't you do both Classic-Horror AND (study other cinema / write a book/ go back to school)?"
2. "You sound miserable. Why don't you quit Classic-Horror so you can (study other cinema / write a book / go back to school)?"

The first one is easy to answer, the second one... not so much.

Can I do both the site and another project and do them sanely? No, not really.

Y'see, when I do something, I do it full-on. Everything else must fit in whatever spaces are left. It's probably a coping mechanism from the years when my severe ADHD and mild depression went undiagnosed. It's also partially a personality thing; moderation is not my strong suit. Once I stopped having a structure and a goal associated with this blog, for instance, I pretty much forgot it. When I was working on this blog regularly, however, I squeezed out all the time I needed for things like cleaning my apartment, socializing with friends, and general "staying-sane-now" downtime. My girlfriend damn near held an intervention.

So... can't I just drop the site?

...are you CRAZY? Quitting Classic-Horror at this point would be tantamount to shutting it down. That would be throwing ten years of hard work down the drain, not to mention some fantastic writing from the C-H team.

I could only conceivably drop even part of my commitment to the site if I found someone as obsessively detail-oriented as me to share in the daily duties. Preferably this person would be more interested in the business side of the website, because I completely fail there. They'd also be sensible enough to say, "Don't you think we have enough on our plate?" The major kicker, however, is that they would have to be someone that I trust implicitly and I don't come by that sort of thing easily. Plus, Classic-Horror being the major time commitment that it is, even if I did trust someone enough, they'd have to be willing to put in all that time for nothing but the satisfaction of a job well done. That's not exactly something I can put an ad out for (believe me, I've considered it).

Plus, for every occasion of angst the site has brought, I've had twice as many moments of giddy joy: meeting and interviewing genre personalities, corresponding with horror experts, having published authors contribute reviews to the site, and seeing Classic-Horror reviews quoted on DVD covers. I've been interviewed by the Chicago Tribune, had a letter column debate with Roger Ebert in the Sun-Times, high-fived Wil Wheaton while geeking about Motel Hell, and even attended an honest-to-gosh Hollywood movie premiere. These are moments I wouldn't give up for anything.

So in case you're wondering, Classic-Horror is not going anywhere anytime soon. There's still whole swaths of horror history we haven't covered and I still have things I want to say.

I occasionally wonder, though, if another ten years will be worth the effort. Something, I think, will have to give eventually. I just hope it isn't my sanity.

Having a "Shape" Moment

I've taken to walking the last mile to home from the light rail. It's a good time to collect my thoughts (or, more frequently, make another go for the high score on Bejeweled). There's one lonely stretch of the walk that's always a bit disconcerting -- walking along the half-mile of yellow concrete that marks the boundary of the country club. Not only is the walk visually monotonous, but it's also poorly lit and there's occasional cul-de-sacs from which any nightmare might leap.

Tonight as I walked along, a quarter mile in and a quarter mile to go, I heard a laugh some distance behind me. I noticed it particularly because of its unusual range -- it began high and ended low. I also noted it because it wasn't a laugh of mirth, but of mischief. I turned and looked behind me. There was no-one there. I thought. I didn't see anyone and yet it felt like there must have been. I turned again and although the scenery did not change one iota, there was clearly another person trailing me by about half a block. I had seen them the first time, but somehow I failed to register them as a person.

Somehow, this caused me to think of John Carpenter's Halloween, a film unsurpassed in its ability to create tension from the absence of its villain in a shot. I recalled being fourteen years old, having just seen the movie for the first time, and imagining Michael Myers was there every time I didn't catch him out of the corner of my eye. It's a powerful movie, one of my favorites, and it's good to know that it still has a hold on my overactive imagination on a brisk April night.

All Hail the Quad!

I'm prepping a post on Alan Parker's Angel Heart (somewhat slowed by the fact that I returned the DVD to Netflix before realizing that I needed to write said post), but here's a diversion in the meantime.

I'm working on a minor update to Classic-Horror.com's design at the moment and I've been looking to poster art for inspiration in how to lay out the site's header. For the pure dimensional resemblances, I've gravitated towards posters that use the British "quad" design -- 40 inches wide by 30 inches tall (standard American posters are 27 inches wide by 40 inches tall). Clearly I'm not going to use that exact ratio, but the best examples of this type of poster are great lessons on how placing static words and pictures on a horizontal canvas properly can create a dynamic feel.

Here's some of the neater quad-style posters I've run across in my research:





















Some of these posters come from Wrong Side of the Art, a fantastic cult cinema poster blog.

A Change in Name and Direction

As the complete lack of posts in the last week indicates, I've decided to put aside The Great Unwatched in its current incarnation. The final clincher came when I tried watching Godzilla vs. Mothra last Tuesday and failed. I don't think I actually saw more than thirty seconds worth, although I heard the movie from start to finish. I was just too busy working on other projects.

This blog isn't going away, though. It's just not going to be focused on The Great Unwatched exclusively. Instead, I'll be posting general movie geekery at a more relaxed pace, while still doing occasional Great Unwatched reviews as a regular feature. Given the change, I've renamed the blog to "Cinema Geek" (which is easier to remember given the URL) and whipped up new header image. I'll be cleaning up the tags and the sidebar content over the course of the week to reflect the new direction.

The Great Unwatched: Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (2001)

Director: Shusuke Kaneko

Runtime: 105 minutes

I really do have an excuse for the sudden barrage of Godzilla movies. Classic-Horror.com is running a Godzilla week in May and I want to make sure I'm fully up to speed on kaiju flicks. Stop judging me!

Sporting what must be the longest English-language title in the entire Godzilla series, Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (or GMK as it will appear in the rest of the review) takes a more mystical approach to kaiju, which makes a certain amount of sense, as Japan has always had a tradition of the supernatural. Here, Godzilla, while still a product of nuclear radiation, is also positioned as the living retribution of all the souls killed by the Japanese in World War II. Defending the Japanese homeland against his incursion are three Guardian Monsters: Baragon, Mothra, and making his first appearance as a full hero, King Ghidorah.

One interesting thematic thread introduced by director and co-writer Shusuke Kaneko is that Japan has largely forgotten Godzilla in the forty-seven years since the original attack (like the rest of the Millenium series, GMK is a direct sequel to 1954's Gojira that ignores the interceding films in the series). Some people believe him to be a myth, others fail to understand the destruction he brings (there's one scene where a local official becomes excited at the tourist trade that might come in if Godzilla attacked his village). Even when Godzilla does show up, the weight of the situation isn't immediately understood by all. For instance, a news helicopter team "reports" on the showdown between Godzilla and Baragon as if it were a wrestling match. However, they are repaid for their irreverence when Godzilla throws Baragon through their ride, killing them. Kaneko's message is that classic trope repeated in social studies classes the world over: those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.

Since Kaneko is using Godzilla and the other monsters as a means of social commentary, the human element is strong in GMK. The main human character, Yuri Tachibana, works for Digital Q, a low-rent video outfit that produces "docu-dramas" that sensationalize the supernatural for easy profit. Desperately to produce something of substance, Yuri gets her chance when the monster attacks begin. She dives furiously into the job of researching the monsters, then, as the final showdown begins, she risks her life to document it for future generations. Her drive to study the past and document the present gives the film a sense of hope that the cycle of history may yet be broken. Yuri also has the distinction of giving one of the few speeches in a Godzilla film that actually made me choke up a little.

The monster battles themselves are workable, but the suits seem a little cheaper than some of the others in the Millenium series. Godzilla's gone through a redesign to make him more "evil" -- he's the tallest that Godzilla has ever been, his eyes are fields of pure white and his gaping maw is brimming with razor sharp teeth. However, he also appears to have something of a pot belly, which somewhat negates his menace. Baragon's suit looks ridiculous and rubbery. King Ghidorah and Mothra come off the best here, looking classy and snazzy for the new millenium.

Worth the Purchase: It's a different sort of take on the Godzilla mythos. I kind of dug it.

--

Unrelated to this flick, I've been having some doubts about this project. While I am watching more films in my collection, it has been pointed out to me that I tend to overload myself with responsibilities. In addition to this blog and Classic-Horror.com (which is, in itself, a full-time job), I also work 40-50 hours a week in the IT industry, I work on "fanvids", and I have a fairly active social life. In the midst of all of this, I have a tendency to forget important things like keeping my apartment tidy, taking out the garbage, and cleaning my poor cat's litter box. Thank goodness I don't have spawn.

On the one hand, if I cut some of the fat from my life, I could devote more time and effort to the things that are the most important to me -- my girlfriend, my niece, my not-being-an-utter-slob. I could also raise the stakes on the quality of writing at Classic-Horror, write more biographies for our Masters section, and come up with some more in-depth features.

On the other hand, this has been a great place to stretch the writing muscles without having to run a full marathon. Plus, I'm seeing more movies than I would normally. I'm going to think about it over the next week or two. Until then, I'm not going anywhere.

PS: The Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards have been announced. Check 'em out.

Stats: 30/401 movies watched in twenty-seven days.
Currently Projected Completion Date: February 19, 2010
Completion Date Goal: February 25, 2010

Weekend Viewing

Watched Suddenly, Policewomen, and Las Vegas Lady over the weekend.

No reviews on these, although I may have to go back and revisit Suddenly at some point.

Stats: 29/401 movies watched in twenty-six days.
Currently Projected Completion Date: February 18, 2010
Completion Date Goal: February 25, 2010

The Great Unwatched: Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (2002)

Director: Masaaki Tezuka

Runtime: 88 minutes

I must be in a kaiju state of mind. Actually, I was having a really craptacular day yesterday and I needed to clean the apartment (partly as therapy, but mostly because my place would embarrass a college freshman in its squalor), so giant monster fights were good for checking in and out as I worked. One of the nice things about the so-called "Millenium series" of Godzilla films is that they tend to be standalone stories, sequels to the original 1954 film but no other Godzilla films (although they are also occasionally connected a few of the non-Godzilla films from the 1950s and 60s). Without a lot of heavy continuity to worry about, you can jump right into the story, such as it is, something you can't really say about the Heisei series of the 1990s.

I picked Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla, despite the fact that it wasn't on this month's list, because it has the second-highest rating of all Godzilla films on the IMDb, bested only by the original Gojira. It's easy to see why. I actually didn't get that much cleaning done, because I was really drawn into the story here. For one thing, they admit (as not every Godzilla movie has) that the original monster who trashed Tokyo in 1954 was definitively killed; the Big G here is an entirely different creature. In fact, the utter destruction of Original Flavor Godzilla is a plot point. The Japanese government has retrieved the skeleton and built a weaponized Godzilla robot to deal with the giant lizard threat. The mecha, named "Kiryu," is piloted by Akane (Yumiko Shaku), who is trying to prove herself after a moment of panic in an earlier battle with Godzilla caused the deaths of several of her fellow soldiers. Her second chance is made more difficult because Kiryu's bones seem have a memory -- a memory of rampage.

The effects, while cheesy, were still light years beyond the standard "suit-mation" antics of the 1960s. Godzilla's still a guy in a lizard costume, but it's a fairly intricate rig now, with extra work put in to make it look very very menacing. The monster battles are backed by CGI (kaiju movies are one area of film where CGI support is more than welcome) and although it's not completely dazzling in terms of technical prowess, it's used fairly effectively.

Action sequences are fairly kinetic for the most part, with a bare minimum of "monster standing still in order to accept attack" moments that have been hallmarks of past kaiju flicks. Tezuka doesn't let the film drown in the human element -- it spices up the non-Godzilla scenes, but he knows why we're here. We want to see giant monsters destroy things and there is plenty of that. As Godzilla movies go, this is one of the best.

Worth the Purchase: Yes.

Stats: 26/401 movies watched in twenty-three days.
Currently Projected Completion Date: February 13, 2010
Completion Date Goal: February 25, 2010

The Great Unwatched: Gojira (1954)

Part of: The Godzilla Collection (Classic Media)

Director: Ishiro Honda

Runtime: 98 minutes

I'll be doing a full write-up for this for a special Godzilla event on Classic-Horror.com in May, so I'm going to refrain from saying anything here. However, I am working on something related to the movie that I will post here a little later.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it, it's a classic of the giant monster genre, yadda yadda yadda.

Worth the Purchase: Yes.

Stats: 25/401 movies watched in twenty-two days.
Currently Projected Completion Date: February 11, 2010
Completion Date Goal: February 25, 2010

The Great Unwatched: The Most Dangerous Game (1932)

Directors: Ernest B. Schoedsack and Irving Pichel

Runtime: 63 minutes

For such a short film, this one packs a wallop. Filmed alongside King Kong (1933) and utilizing many of the same sets (and two of the same actors), The Most Dangerous Game is a pretty brutal little horror film for its time. Surviving a shipwreck, big game hunter Bob Rainsford (Joel McCrea) washes up on the private island of Count Zaroff (Leslie Banks). Zaroff is a hunter, too, but his quarry isn't lions or jaguars -- it's people. Soon Rainsford is put in the position of prey, protecting not only his own life but the virtue of fellow castaway Eve Towbridge (Fay Wray). The pair have four hours to evade Zaroff, his henchmen, and his vicious hunting dogs.

Screenwriter James Ashmore Creelman remains fairly faithful to Richard Connell's short story, even taking whole lines of dialogue verbatim. He does make some concessions to common Hollywood wisdom, adding a damsel in distress, which adds a sexual kink to the character of Zaroff that's not apparent in the female-free story. Creelman also strikes all references to Rainsford having fought in World War I (likely because McCrea turned thirteen just two weeks before Armistice Day), a change which removes some (although not all) ambiguity from the protagonist's moral high ground.

Banks makes for an intimidating villain, partially due to his "give it all" performance, but also because of a physical aspect of the actor's features. Half of his face was paralyzed in World War I, giving one of his eyes a perpetually crazed look. It serves the character of Zaroff well -- there's always a madman there, even when the other half of the face is being genial. And when both halves match... well, watch out.

A surprisingly brutal pre-Code trophy room scene, great pacing, and a phenomenal score by Max Steiner add to what is highly enjoyable flick. If you're in the market for thrills, be sure to pick up the Criterion Collection DVD, which boasts a very informative commentary track courtesy of Bruce Eder.

Fun trivia #1: co-director Ernest B. Schoedsack is a native of Iowa, just like your humble blogger.

Fun trivia #2: This is only the first adaptation of Connell's short story in the project. The other is Bloodlust! starring Robert Reed of The Brady Bunch.

Stats: 24/401 movies watched in twenty-one days.
Currently Projected Completion Date: February 9, 2010
Completion Date Goal: February 25, 2010

No Film Tonight

The best-laid plans, right? I usually stop by the Fair Trade Cafe on Monday nights because it's a quiet place to get some work done and the best damn barista in the Phoenix area is on shift at that time. Never mind that she's also my sister. I'd still swing by if we weren't related; her coffee is that good. Anyway. Tonight I cut my visit short by a couple hours so I could come home and watch not one but two movies (or watch two versions of one Godzilla film).

However, due to unforeseen circumstances, no movies happened. That's just how it goes sometimes. The project and this blog are secondary (or even tertiary) considerations and while I strive to watch a movie daily, sometimes I have to put that aside.

No progress report tonight, either. I'll just be sure to catch up tomorrow.

The Great Unwatched: Help! (1965)

Director: Richard Lester

Runtime: 90 minutes

I can safely blame Tim Lucas for this one. About six months ago, he pointed out a fire sale that Amazon.com was having on the deluxe box set of Help! -- something like an 80% savings. Not bad, especially considering that the box (which usually goes for $120) contains a reproduction of Richard Lester's annotated (read: scribbled on) shooting script, a hardbound commemorative book with production notes and exclusive photographs, a poster, and eight lobby cards. Oh yeah, and the movie and its special features disc. Those are kind of important. The same deal is going on, actually, to a slightly lesser degree -- just check Amazon's sellers page for the outfit "warehouse_deals." I can report that my own set arrived without any of the issues in their description.

As for the film itself, I can safely agree with many other critics who have pointed out that it's silly nonsense. I can agree even more with fans of the film that find the silly nonsense to be, at least, inspired nonsense. Richard Lester is a director I have a lot of respect for and his work with The Beatles in this and A Hard Day's Night shows a man who completely grasps the pop mystique of the Fab Four. Just look at the differences between AHDN and Help!, films made within a year of each other, which can be a whole era in the life of a pop band.

A Hard Day's Night had the boys chased around like mad, with screaming fans around every corner. Now, a year later, they've settled in; they're far more likely to have busybody housewives discuss them from afar than to be mobbed. AHDN is plotless -- a madcap day in the life of the most popular band in the world, before anybody's quite figured out what to do with these four moptopped lads from Liverpool. In Help!, a plot (although admittedly not much of one) asserts itself, and the boys have to play keepaway with a special sacrificial ring that's become stuck to Ringo's finger. Now there's structure, a way to align the band with standard conventions, even if they have a tendency to play fast and loose with said conventions. Actually, the elements of the plot actually reverse the first point of the paragraph -- The Beatles are still getting mobbed in Help!, but now it's from people who want something from them and/or who are against their music and what they stand for (the opening credits involve a religious cult throwing darts at a film of the band performing the title song). Still, there's nothing quite so sublime in Help! as the "Can we have our ball back?" bit from AHDN (which I've helpfully embedded below).



Comparisons aside, though, it's clear that everyone involved is having a lot of fun. Richard Lester maintains enough control on the shenanigans that they do not become tedious, but not so much control that he takes the fun out. He leaves in plenty of room to riff on things like the James Bond series, British labor unions, and even basic cinematic conventions like intertitles (there are many, many intertitles in this film and nearly all of them funnier than they have any right to be). If there's a major complaint here, it's that we don't get a strong notion of each band member's individual style and personality. Oh, it comes through in pieces here and there, but at points they seem more like a hive mind of jocularity than four independent minds.

I really dug this film a lot, so I should probably thank Tim Lucas instead of assigning blame. Except blame is more fun.

Worth the Purchase: If you don't know my answer, then Ringo isn't the only one who needs help.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've just started Scott Allen Nolan's book on Boris Karloff and I'm looking forward to a fascinating read.

Stats: 23/401 movies watched in nineteen days.
Currently Projected Completion Date: January 21, 2010
Completion Date Goal: February 25, 2010

Intermission

Check out what I just posted on the wall of my bedroom:


When there's no more room on the walls, the posters shall walk the Earth